Becoming a Gay Adult

We all need downtime. Farmers know to leave land fallow for a period to allow the soil to regain the nutrients necessary for a full crop the season thereafter. If we run our bodies at full throttle consistently throughout the year, our bodies will force us to take a break, but it will be no fun: it'll be in a hospital or in an emergency room. We're build to require rest. This Memorial Day weekend is intensely special: we pause to honor the brave who take action to protect our American Way. Nothing's perfect: so America can be criticized for many flaws, but all in all we do many wonderful things for humankind and our military folks sometimes give their lives so we can keep pursuing the dream of America. Today, as part of my break from work, my partner and I had the privilige of hearing stories of New York City on a bus tour from Sherwood. He's pretty amazing--Vietnam buddies who died close by, close running partners who died in the 9/11 attacks--he's glad to be a...

The most disturbing thing I've experienced in a long time--a huge thud. One of those sounds New Yorkers hear and take a beat to look, because we all want it never to be something that disturbs our super-ordered life. And the beat also ensures it's less than a convenient distraction for a pickpocket. And as I rode my bike over, to what I hoped was just a garbage bag of stuff lying on the asphalt, and as I thought about the car I know intuitively had driven away, as I noticed the stunned man, almost petrified 50 feet away staring hoping he would move, and the woman trembling talking on the phone--everyone was keeping a distance... Sentence fragment, I know. Bear with me, I'm tearing... As I rode my bike closer and some brave soul was now sheltering who I must imagine was no longer of this world, I passed his cane, his prone body, face down, bruised leg, or was it varicose veins from years of drinking? I thought to myself, "was he older having had a full life, was he dr...

Remember, you have a career and it's your responsibility to attend to it. Think of it as your other child, especially if you're a parent. Your career requires just as much attention. And, remember that just as you are attending to yours, that others are attending to theirs. You can be supportive and kind to others too. And that can be even if you're colleagues vying for the same position, or if you have mentees, and sometimes even your own mentors or those to whom you look for guidance. We're all in this together and at different times we need support. Think of who you can support today. Go beyond your own challenges and seek out others to encourage, cheer, and shoulder. The career journey is easier if we go beyond our limited personal scope. Live and work well together.