The most disturbing thing I've experienced in a long time--a huge thud. One of those sounds New Yorkers hear and take a beat to look, because we all want it never to be something that disturbs our super-ordered life. And the beat also ensures it's less than a convenient distraction for a pickpocket.
And as I rode my bike over, to what I hoped was just a garbage bag of stuff lying on the asphalt, and as I thought about the car I know intuitively had driven away, as I noticed the stunned man, almost petrified 50 feet away staring hoping he would move, and the woman trembling talking on the phone--everyone was keeping a distance... Sentence fragment, I know. Bear with me, I'm tearing... As I rode my bike closer and some brave soul was now sheltering who I must imagine was no longer of this world, I passed his cane, his prone body, face down, bruised leg, or was it varicose veins from years of drinking? I thought to myself, "was he older having had a full life, was he drinking, unconsciously trying to blot out life, crossing in the middle of the street in the early pre-light dawn?" I have no idea, and my internet searches revealed no more. And I knew enough people were there to protect his body and get word to the police and the hospital--the sirens were close by as I pulled to the next block. No sense in staying to watch--besides I was overwrought with grief for a man gone. I felt love and compassion for him: powerful stuff that wracked sobs from me. Whether he contributed to the event or deliberately ran into it, no being deserves such a cruel stop--and angry at the person who'd hit another mortally and run out of fear or cowardice, who knows? I paused and locked my bike.
How does this matter to a career blog and growing up as a gay man in corporate America--how does this impact a meaningful career? Well, I've spent the last couple days since this experience treasuring LIFE. Sure, a career and climbing the ladder of success are important, but above all am I living a life, that should it end today--by a passing car, a bad meal, a stopped heart, a clot that blocks the oxygen to the brain--would I die complete?
What good is it that I should have career success if I lose my lover, my family, friendship, the love and support of others to my greed for success at work? Work can never love--and that's the bargain in which we engage when work comes first. So this event gave me pause to consider those in my life for whom I have gratitude. And to call them into my presence for a spell. It called me to refocus on what's really important day to day.
Live a life worth living. Live well.
And as I rode my bike over, to what I hoped was just a garbage bag of stuff lying on the asphalt, and as I thought about the car I know intuitively had driven away, as I noticed the stunned man, almost petrified 50 feet away staring hoping he would move, and the woman trembling talking on the phone--everyone was keeping a distance... Sentence fragment, I know. Bear with me, I'm tearing... As I rode my bike closer and some brave soul was now sheltering who I must imagine was no longer of this world, I passed his cane, his prone body, face down, bruised leg, or was it varicose veins from years of drinking? I thought to myself, "was he older having had a full life, was he drinking, unconsciously trying to blot out life, crossing in the middle of the street in the early pre-light dawn?" I have no idea, and my internet searches revealed no more. And I knew enough people were there to protect his body and get word to the police and the hospital--the sirens were close by as I pulled to the next block. No sense in staying to watch--besides I was overwrought with grief for a man gone. I felt love and compassion for him: powerful stuff that wracked sobs from me. Whether he contributed to the event or deliberately ran into it, no being deserves such a cruel stop--and angry at the person who'd hit another mortally and run out of fear or cowardice, who knows? I paused and locked my bike.
How does this matter to a career blog and growing up as a gay man in corporate America--how does this impact a meaningful career? Well, I've spent the last couple days since this experience treasuring LIFE. Sure, a career and climbing the ladder of success are important, but above all am I living a life, that should it end today--by a passing car, a bad meal, a stopped heart, a clot that blocks the oxygen to the brain--would I die complete?
What good is it that I should have career success if I lose my lover, my family, friendship, the love and support of others to my greed for success at work? Work can never love--and that's the bargain in which we engage when work comes first. So this event gave me pause to consider those in my life for whom I have gratitude. And to call them into my presence for a spell. It called me to refocus on what's really important day to day.
Live a life worth living. Live well.
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