Skip to main content

Tiny Steps Forward

Maybe I thought things would happen faster than they are happening.

I've honestly thought about packing it all in and going home.

Except for one tricky thing--where's home? The parental unit disavowed me around the whole gay thing a long time ago. My brother is just setting up his home. And on some level, I'm learning I still have so much work left to do to create my own home--a truly solid sense of identity.

This "sabbatical" is forming it more wholly and it's amazing to watch it unfold. And there are some nibbles now around ways I could potentially earn again and support myself, so that bodes some hope to stay put and build home here and now for myself. Finally.

On some level, success was a way to prove to my father that I'd made it. It's dawning that a more interesting route is to mine the authentic me, to build my own home base, find my true tribe of brothers (in addition to the awesome live one I have) and go forth from there.

Rudimentary to some, aha moment for me.

Who am I truly? What do I bring to the workplace, truly, beautifully and with ease that's of value that commands a salary that allows me to continue to viably live in this amazing city? What do I need in time, work load, what can I reasonably do?

And in this break from the 9-5+, how can I best take care of myself so I'm ready to give authentically and be a part of a team, rather than a lone ranger proving himself to his father? Pulling up the bootstraps is so 1920's.

2010's are about working collaboratively to find mutual solutions, and solving across a matrix of shareholder concerns, both individually and collectively.

Live well.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Draft your Dream Job

Every once in a while, just for kicks, take a blank piece of paper and write out your ideal next job. Keep all the things you do now that you love, drop the things you're less good at or have mastered and want to let go, and fill the remaining space with stretch tasks and goals. Then write out the names of people who have your ideal job. Make a plan to reach out to them and have a 15 to 20 minute coffee break with them over the next month. Find out what it would take for you to get to the next job that's right for you. Do you need to ask for a stretch assignment? Would you be willing to make some time outside work hours to work on a related project with a mentor? Maybe do some volunteering in line with the new vision work? I suggest that you create a plan and list the milestones. It will amazing you in December how much closer you are to your vision, if you're just a little deliberate about it. Once you've created a plan for yourself, ask a friend to keep you acco...
Post a Comment
Read more

It Gets Better

I spent some time watching the It Gets Better videos last night. Moving stuff. My favorite is the singing from the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. It's wild how song works. The world needs all our talents. I'm good at storytelling. I'm good at helping humans align their being with their doing. To get really good at what I do, I constantly have to get better at aligning my own being with my doing. It's hard work. I think our careers help us focus on our deepest wounding as human beings, and as we get better, we develop power in that very area where we're broken. We get stronger than most other humans around that and we can GIVE that strength to others to help them along on the human journey. And that's our career. I think firemen saw some hopeless stuff growing up and are COMPELLED to run into burning buildings to do the impossible task of saving someone from fire. Nurses run TO broken bones and tend to them. I run to broken souls: I see someone struggling wi...
Post a Comment
Read more

I make mistakes (and I bounce back)

I hate making mistakes.  I love my luxurious fantasy of perfection.  And today my humanity, my imperfection shone through fiery.  I hung in there and cleaned it up. I've learned, you just tell people you screwed up.  Say how you're going to fix it immediately, and how you're protecting it from happening going forward.  It matters little whether anybody else had anything to do with it.  Throw no one under the bus, however, you may want to bring them in on the effect the error had and get their buy in for the proactive solution for future transactions. Truth is, things move so fast that especially with transactional work, there are bound to be errors now and then.  The time it takes to be perfect would result in paralysis.  It's that magical balance between getting it done (and maybe having to beg forgiveness) and taking so long to deliver that by the time you do deliver, it's too late to be of any use (especially since you've now teed off ...
3 comments
Read more