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Tiny Steps Forward

Maybe I thought things would happen faster than they are happening.

I've honestly thought about packing it all in and going home.

Except for one tricky thing--where's home? The parental unit disavowed me around the whole gay thing a long time ago. My brother is just setting up his home. And on some level, I'm learning I still have so much work left to do to create my own home--a truly solid sense of identity.

This "sabbatical" is forming it more wholly and it's amazing to watch it unfold. And there are some nibbles now around ways I could potentially earn again and support myself, so that bodes some hope to stay put and build home here and now for myself. Finally.

On some level, success was a way to prove to my father that I'd made it. It's dawning that a more interesting route is to mine the authentic me, to build my own home base, find my true tribe of brothers (in addition to the awesome live one I have) and go forth from there.

Rudimentary to some, aha moment for me.

Who am I truly? What do I bring to the workplace, truly, beautifully and with ease that's of value that commands a salary that allows me to continue to viably live in this amazing city? What do I need in time, work load, what can I reasonably do?

And in this break from the 9-5+, how can I best take care of myself so I'm ready to give authentically and be a part of a team, rather than a lone ranger proving himself to his father? Pulling up the bootstraps is so 1920's.

2010's are about working collaboratively to find mutual solutions, and solving across a matrix of shareholder concerns, both individually and collectively.

Live well.

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