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On the 13th Day -- 2 Years and 8 Months later

It's been 13 days since I walked away and it's time to check in again. Hoping to document the process for remembrance and to help others. I've spent the days cycling, swimming, having great home cooked meals, reconnecting with family and neighbors, sleeping the proper 8 hours at night, and checking out Impulse (on YouTube Red). David and I (now married, wedding, honeymoon) went to the theater, sleep in late and exercise together. It's been pretty incredible. And I'm scared. Who steps away from a full-time job without a new one? And this aging business -- I need a new right hip and a great surgeon who will tell me I CAN run again. I want to run. It releases endorphins that tell me it's all going to be ok. And I need to know it's all going to be ok. I put all in the last gig. I did amazing work. It was hard -- politics, the founder culture (letting go is hard), 360 reviews and telling the truth when everyone loved the drama so much it was hard to see that it was cancer level damaging. Solve the problem, but we're taking no responsibility and none of the action items are to be ours. We will continue to do exactly what we were doing before, we're sure it's the others. What others? I kick myself for failing to go harder, stronger and trust my gut -- I am the grown up. I am the adult. There is no other one. No others. AND, it's my job to draw out the others to join me in being the grown up. Adulting is hard. It is demanded though, now more than ever. We all need to bring our ADULT game to the office. All the time. We can cry into happy hour drinks but the drama stays outside the office. I've also spent some time going over everything I've learned in HR for over 15 years. It's all true. All the things -- values are critical and need to be explicit, mutually agreed on and then put into action. It's not ok to step on them. Intel CEO resigns -- over a relationship. Of course he knew...and still he persisted. And so it goes. It's the HR job to be the one to call that stuff out from way before and going forward. And it sucks that it will always be that leaders will push the bounds of the agreed on values and rules of the game -- because that's what made them successful in the first place. Marcus Buckingham is right with StandOut and it is my job to enact what we know -- use the intelligence derived from the HR research and apply it in situ, live. So we can live well, work well, love each other. And it's very hard. Very very hard and we have to do it sustainably. Call out behavior that's a no go, manage the strengths, push for values, coach for success across business goals, keep people human, radical self care. I'm excited really, for the next gig. And so it goes. I know what I must do next time to stay on the beam, focused and perform, while being good to my husband, godson and those I love and recertify by 2019. Live and love well.

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