Becoming a Gay Adult

I'm sad today. The last seven weeks have really been wonderful here at the ad agency.  I learned so much and people were so genuinely kind, open and appreciative.  I ended up working with a supervisor I really enjoyed working beside.  And the open space work style was fine.  You really get to know about others.  Work becomes very intimate fast.  I got used to it.  It really trimmed away at the send of hierarchy and overbearing structure.  Well-harnessed it could be a powerful differentiator for organizations and could result in more nimble organizations and better cross-pollination. It does require significant energy for atomic particles to jump from one atom to another, so it makes sense that I'd feel some heaviness about the impending transition.  I guess the thing to do is to be gentle and allow myself to say goodbye well here.  I've already created a training guide for the next person to step into the role I'm leaving.  Toda...

slept in...running late... today, live life. well.

Rain was thrilling today on my bicycle in the morning.  I expected something else. And it's like life.  We feel the day will bring one thing, and it brings another. Stay open; take guided risks.  It felt as if I was being moved through the rain today.  And I'm dry at work.  Hmmm...strange miracle.

There is no need for me to do everything, and be everything for everyone! Novel, eh? I'm going to sit with that today.  What are my true limits?  How do I express those with others with compassion, kindness, respect, understanding, empathy and care?  How DO I share what is important and vital to me so that I'm sustained in relationship with others?  Especially at work. I know that's a fragment. Especially at work.

Today I find the inspiration from the interactions during the day.  One little moment at a time.

I'm so happy that I can't stop crying--Sting. These are beautiful days.  It's amazing how absolutely gorgeous Spring is in New York City.  The light alone streaming through the delicious apple green trees makes everyone sparkly. I called my Mom today, on a pause riding my bicycle down the West Side Highway bike path.  I looked at the Hudson, choppy with the wind bursting with joy.  I say joy, though I have no idea if rivers experience joy as they approach salty water.  I was joyful and projected it on the cresting water, white with air. My mother is happy.  She has a deep faith which she passed on to me.  It's sustained me and kept me strong in the face of the impossible.  We said prayers for each other on the phone.  She's got a new adventure coming up and I have one too: so we held faith for each other that something bigger than both of us would guide us.  We reflected on the fact that we as a family have been through many challe...

It's been an amazing journey.  7 months after I exited my last full-time position, I got another full-time offer in HR.  This time, I get to learn the generalist side of HR.  I will become a more rounded HR professional through this experience.  It's a chance to learn another corporation, with a different energy and culture. I'm excited and nervous. I looked back at my vision for next steps in my career and this is such a great fit.  I'm still in Media, I'm helping people have successful lives at work.  My industry/function choice.  I'm at a great location, I really admire and respect from the first gut reactions, the folks with whom I'll work.  I get good vibes from the people I will serve who I saw on my short tour and as I sat in the lobby area during interviews.  I like the energy, the excitement, the studio.  And I chatted and emailed folks who went to my alma mater who now work at the company (using LinkedIn).  I was an ...

I love Annie Lennox.  Favorite artist ever.  Her song, "I've Got a Life," captures my mood today.  I hummed it on my way to the office and took in the morning. How do I let my life "shine"?  How do I hold on to my authenticity and yet "fit" in a corporate culture. Deep questions for my morning walk and meditation this morning. I am, I'm discovering, a bit of the absent-minded professor.  I need the early morning time to review things, put lists and calendars together to keep me organized.  Thank goodness for "To Do" lists and all the bells and whistles of Outlook (or Lotus Notes) to keep me on task. Otherwise, I'd drift into philosophy. Happy Friday.

Career decisions are among the most difficult we humans make. They must be approached with a level of thoughtfulness for personal and organizational effectiveness.  And (I suppose theme of the month), require the consideration of competing priorities. There is the illusion of safety and surety.  Something very seductive to me.  I like a sense of clarity of purpose and direction: we're all moving in the same direction towards a unified vision. That said I love creative chaos as well.  New, innovative and exciting things happen in that environment. At 40, and given all I've been through, I lean towards the safe.  I miss my reckless twenties...well, I look back at them fondly as I forge ahead. Cheers, and Happy Hunting/Work Well

I've always believed that something bigger than me orchestrates this grand experiment: LIFE. And so, I'm partly fearless. I've also grown to believe I have some engineering capacity.  That I learn to let go of over time.  I am a catalyst, a vessel "through which," however I'm am never "in charge."  Let that go. Now is a time to sit and listen thoughtfully.  To be compassionate and kind.  To be transparent and open. This is a time for reflection about what's deeply, truly important and to listen to the quiet, and breathe, rest, believe that bigger than me is the universe expansive and wonderful. Ah...inhale...exhale.  Namaste.

I declare today AMAZING DAY! And you say, "why, Karl?  Why is today an AMAZING DAY!?" And I say, "because I declare it so." It's that simple.  I have decided that today is a wonderful day.  For example, later it might rain: right now it's absolutely lovely outside.  I rode my bike in and it's amazing how beautiful the city is this early.  The train was fairly empty allowing for easy maneuvering and the streets were dry. Life is pretty awesome right now and I feel like celebrating. So today is an AMAZING DAY! 

It's important to share authentically, and with prudence. If nobody knows what you care about or value, then you've failed to make it possible for you to be successful. That comes with a clear caveat.  Once you've clearly self-assessed, be thoughtful about who knows what.  Authenticity demands as conscious honesty as you can muster.  However, it serves nobody to blather your truth everywhere to everyone.  That can cause more harm than good. This is why trusted sherpas are important in your life.  Having those few who you CAN tell all, gives you one stop before you decide to share your intimate truths with others.  They can help you develop prudence. I do have news.  However, I have to keep it quiet for now, though I'm bursting at the seams to share. Happy Prudent Hunting today.  And WORK WELL my employed friends.

It's absolutely gorgeous in New York.  The city was abuzz with life: beautiful flowers everywhere and trees in their Sunday best of green. Amazingly sculpted beautiful people with laughter and joy. Enjoy life.

I'm back in the race.  And this time, I'm doing it differently. I've learned so much over the last 6 months.  November 4th I left one company.  I was challenged to figure out what was failing for me in that work experience, communicating it clearly to all stakeholders, and then identifying solutions.  I was going so fast on the treadmill of getting the work done, that a clear and thorough inventory of my part, the part of other stakeholders and a good look at the environment was impossible.  It was too hard to slow down and do the inventory.  And, I started looking at it much later than I should have. Lesson learned: take regular inventory, especially when things are good.  Identify what's going well, what's failing and come together with stakeholders and identify mutually satisfactory solutions.  Do it early.  Sometimes, we get to place where feelings and psychology become intractable and then it's almost too late to identify potential s...

I admit:  I have poor negotiation skills. Over the next couple of days, I'm going to have to ask for what I want and it's very challenging.  I have to be honest because that's the basis of a true relationship. I feel good that I've left behind the ideas that "the man" is out to get me.  That is false.  It's a good story; just a lie.  The truth is, I sign up for stuff, and then get upset that it's different than I want it to be. Negotiation means I'm honest and up front about my needs, desires and dreams.  I give the other person (or organization) a chance to state their boundaries and hopes for our relationship.  And then we both think about how we can meet each other in a place where we're both honored, and feel we can work together.  There is a resulting sense of fairplay.  That's what I'm aiming for today in my conversations. 1. Sharing honestly. 2. Asking probing questions to understand the other party. 3. Coming to a mutu...

It's NYC.  So the pace is fast. Learning to pace myself.  Breathe today.

I believe that as stressed as I feel now, with a million competing priorities, I can navigate the day with grace and ease.  What I get done today is the essential part.  The rest I give to something greater than me.  I pay attention to my system resources and give only what is sustainable to give.  Then I rest and recharge. Happy Hunting.  Happy Working Well.

There's a lot going on at once. Spent time with the nuclear family this past weekend.  Flew to Florida and back.  Then time with just my brother and his girlfriend two nights in a row here in the city: my friends to meet him and his lovely girlfriend, and night #2 to meet his friend.  I've been getting 4 hours of sleep since I "have to" go to the gym at 6:30am before work.  And work's been full. And I'm seeing if there are full-time opportunities as well. I'm feeling over-stretched.  So how do I manage today? I breathe, thoughtfully, and do the next right thing.  As always, work feels like there are a million things I could do to help.  I am human and a reasonable work day is maximum 10 hours.  After that, I'm useless.  And that's unsustainable.  Gotta pace myself. Infinite world, finite beings.

Show up for each day with a sense of adventure and bring your flexibility. It's why I stretch in the morning at the gym.  Sure my body gets a workout.  My mind too starts wrapping around ideas in a more resilient way. Find your own way to wake yourself to possibilities.

Travelling brings it's travails. I tried to take good care of myself, and tried to be patient and kind with the other travellers. And here I am, home.  Time for rest for more tomorrowl.