Skip to main content

Negotiation Skills

I admit:  I have poor negotiation skills.

Over the next couple of days, I'm going to have to ask for what I want and it's very challenging.  I have to be honest because that's the basis of a true relationship.

I feel good that I've left behind the ideas that "the man" is out to get me.  That is false.  It's a good story; just a lie.  The truth is, I sign up for stuff, and then get upset that it's different than I want it to be.

Negotiation means I'm honest and up front about my needs, desires and dreams.  I give the other person (or organization) a chance to state their boundaries and hopes for our relationship.  And then we both think about how we can meet each other in a place where we're both honored, and feel we can work together.  There is a resulting sense of fairplay.  That's what I'm aiming for today in my conversations.

1. Sharing honestly.
2. Asking probing questions to understand the other party.
3. Coming to a mutual plan of action.
4. Sitting after the conversation and seeing if it feels good to go forward.

That means today's going to be one of my most challenging days.  And I'm up for it!  I'm excited to stretch into new behavior that honors myself, and treats others with respect, care and understanding.  We work together.

Happy Hunting.  And great work day to all.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I make mistakes (and I bounce back)

I hate making mistakes.  I love my luxurious fantasy of perfection.  And today my humanity, my imperfection shone through fiery.  I hung in there and cleaned it up. I've learned, you just tell people you screwed up.  Say how you're going to fix it immediately, and how you're protecting it from happening going forward.  It matters little whether anybody else had anything to do with it.  Throw no one under the bus, however, you may want to bring them in on the effect the error had and get their buy in for the proactive solution for future transactions. Truth is, things move so fast that especially with transactional work, there are bound to be errors now and then.  The time it takes to be perfect would result in paralysis.  It's that magical balance between getting it done (and maybe having to beg forgiveness) and taking so long to deliver that by the time you do deliver, it's too late to be of any use (especially since you've now teed off ...
3 comments
Read more

I'm Happy

I'm so happy that I can't stop crying--Sting. These are beautiful days.  It's amazing how absolutely gorgeous Spring is in New York City.  The light alone streaming through the delicious apple green trees makes everyone sparkly. I called my Mom today, on a pause riding my bicycle down the West Side Highway bike path.  I looked at the Hudson, choppy with the wind bursting with joy.  I say joy, though I have no idea if rivers experience joy as they approach salty water.  I was joyful and projected it on the cresting water, white with air. My mother is happy.  She has a deep faith which she passed on to me.  It's sustained me and kept me strong in the face of the impossible.  We said prayers for each other on the phone.  She's got a new adventure coming up and I have one too: so we held faith for each other that something bigger than both of us would guide us.  We reflected on the fact that we as a family have been through many challe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Draft your Dream Job

Every once in a while, just for kicks, take a blank piece of paper and write out your ideal next job. Keep all the things you do now that you love, drop the things you're less good at or have mastered and want to let go, and fill the remaining space with stretch tasks and goals. Then write out the names of people who have your ideal job. Make a plan to reach out to them and have a 15 to 20 minute coffee break with them over the next month. Find out what it would take for you to get to the next job that's right for you. Do you need to ask for a stretch assignment? Would you be willing to make some time outside work hours to work on a related project with a mentor? Maybe do some volunteering in line with the new vision work? I suggest that you create a plan and list the milestones. It will amazing you in December how much closer you are to your vision, if you're just a little deliberate about it. Once you've created a plan for yourself, ask a friend to keep you acco...
Post a Comment
Read more