There is a whole generation that believes (I'm wildly generalizing here) that we must pull ourselves up by our own individual power.
While there are many things that we must do for ourselves, there's more power in working together.
The challenge is to figure out with whom to align. Look back at your goals, and also note your natural rhythms. Many folks align themselves with the popular, the A-list, the powerful. While interesting, you might soon find yourself suffering from internal conflict, confused as to why you feel as if you're swimming against the current and working twice as hard to get the most basic things done.
Salmon swim better with other salmon, birds flying together ease the wind draft, rotating the lead giving everyone else some lift, even in a bicycle race, those behind get the draft advantage. So flock together. Just choose your tribe.
Choose people with whom there's little effort to connect. Forcing connections will leave you exhausted. Find folks you admire for WHO they are more than WHAT they do or have. Evening time is a good time to sit quietly and ask--"Who can I cry with? Who can I share my saddest thoughts with? Who will rarely judge me no matter how silly or outrageous I show up?" These are your trusted ones. Looking at your list of folks you currently hold close, spend time with on holidays, really ask if they have earned or deserve your trust, time, love, gifts, confidence...it's amazing sometimes that parents, siblings, children, current lovers, childhood friends, bosses, co-workers, are sometimes the last folks you'd want to truly consider if you looked objectively at their words and behavior with you. So step back and look at your "fave five" in the quiet of your being and discern who is to be trusted.
Of course in human relations, you also want to reach across the aisle. Offer support, encouragement, be kind to those with whom you have fundamental differences of style, judgement, values, ideas, ways of working. But it is futile to be everyone's best friend. With others, respect and social politeness might be all that you ever achieve. It is ok to be guarded with some folks. There really is, even as adults, appropriate "stranger danger."
Notice changes in others too that might require a shift in your inner circle. People change over time and can BECOME untrustworthy, and you might need to rotate your tight circle of support from time to time. However, going it alone is usually a less successful choice. There really is no "I" in team. And teamwork truly works.
While there are many things that we must do for ourselves, there's more power in working together.
The challenge is to figure out with whom to align. Look back at your goals, and also note your natural rhythms. Many folks align themselves with the popular, the A-list, the powerful. While interesting, you might soon find yourself suffering from internal conflict, confused as to why you feel as if you're swimming against the current and working twice as hard to get the most basic things done.
Salmon swim better with other salmon, birds flying together ease the wind draft, rotating the lead giving everyone else some lift, even in a bicycle race, those behind get the draft advantage. So flock together. Just choose your tribe.
Choose people with whom there's little effort to connect. Forcing connections will leave you exhausted. Find folks you admire for WHO they are more than WHAT they do or have. Evening time is a good time to sit quietly and ask--"Who can I cry with? Who can I share my saddest thoughts with? Who will rarely judge me no matter how silly or outrageous I show up?" These are your trusted ones. Looking at your list of folks you currently hold close, spend time with on holidays, really ask if they have earned or deserve your trust, time, love, gifts, confidence...it's amazing sometimes that parents, siblings, children, current lovers, childhood friends, bosses, co-workers, are sometimes the last folks you'd want to truly consider if you looked objectively at their words and behavior with you. So step back and look at your "fave five" in the quiet of your being and discern who is to be trusted.
Of course in human relations, you also want to reach across the aisle. Offer support, encouragement, be kind to those with whom you have fundamental differences of style, judgement, values, ideas, ways of working. But it is futile to be everyone's best friend. With others, respect and social politeness might be all that you ever achieve. It is ok to be guarded with some folks. There really is, even as adults, appropriate "stranger danger."
Notice changes in others too that might require a shift in your inner circle. People change over time and can BECOME untrustworthy, and you might need to rotate your tight circle of support from time to time. However, going it alone is usually a less successful choice. There really is no "I" in team. And teamwork truly works.
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