The physical therapist sub said that I'm tracking ahead for someone 4 days post total right hip replacement. I want to be pleased with myself. When they ask what my goals are post-op, I want to say to run a marathon and to do a triathlon again, and to race up the stairs at work as if I'm Superman, and ace all my goals harder and faster, to show I'm not aging at all. I'm perpetually at my male peak performance.
During a triathlon, if I notice I'm tracking ahead of goals I know to slow down. Especially in a race. Especially in the beginning. And life, funny as it may seem, is not a race at all.
But even in racing everyone knows that for feats of human resilience, it's the starting slow that gets the body properly attuned to the day, the moment, the heat or cold, the tempo that's right on purr for the longer game.
Sprints are different, but they are short.
Life, as I want to live it, is a long game.
To deeply enjoy it, I need to pace. There's a hubris in believing I can touch the sun. As if, touching the sun would be a good thing. Or even going to the North Pole. Just because it's interesting and quasi impossible, fun to do, means nothing.
If I get myself to go to the office on January 2nd and I slip on the ice on the way in, crack my skull open and die, I lose. I could also wait until it's a safer day and show up -- still kick it like a boss. And my cats, husband, family, neighbors and friends would much rather that. Even my boss and co-workers/clients would rather have me alive to flay, than have me kick the bucket. So.
The tension on the stage ahead -- for the next 11 days, do I pace my recovery, and aim for health and long term sustainable effort, towards showing up healthy and strong as it's right to do, or do I push hard and hurt myself? Or, third option, do I go into doldrums when the day to day return on the post op exercises starts to dwindle? When it seems I might go backwards, will I throw in the towel and give up all together at the first set back?
It's exciting. Let's see where this goes.
I strap on the ice pack and set the timer for 20 mins. Enjoy the ride.
I hate making mistakes. I love my luxurious fantasy of perfection. And today my humanity, my imperfection shone through fiery. I hung in there and cleaned it up. I've learned, you just tell people you screwed up. Say how you're going to fix it immediately, and how you're protecting it from happening going forward. It matters little whether anybody else had anything to do with it. Throw no one under the bus, however, you may want to bring them in on the effect the error had and get their buy in for the proactive solution for future transactions. Truth is, things move so fast that especially with transactional work, there are bound to be errors now and then. The time it takes to be perfect would result in paralysis. It's that magical balance between getting it done (and maybe having to beg forgiveness) and taking so long to deliver that by the time you do deliver, it's too late to be of any use (especially since you've now teed off ...
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