The physical therapist sub said that I'm tracking ahead for someone 4 days post total right hip replacement. I want to be pleased with myself. When they ask what my goals are post-op, I want to say to run a marathon and to do a triathlon again, and to race up the stairs at work as if I'm Superman, and ace all my goals harder and faster, to show I'm not aging at all. I'm perpetually at my male peak performance.
During a triathlon, if I notice I'm tracking ahead of goals I know to slow down. Especially in a race. Especially in the beginning. And life, funny as it may seem, is not a race at all.
But even in racing everyone knows that for feats of human resilience, it's the starting slow that gets the body properly attuned to the day, the moment, the heat or cold, the tempo that's right on purr for the longer game.
Sprints are different, but they are short.
Life, as I want to live it, is a long game.
To deeply enjoy it, I need to pace. There's a hubris in believing I can touch the sun. As if, touching the sun would be a good thing. Or even going to the North Pole. Just because it's interesting and quasi impossible, fun to do, means nothing.
If I get myself to go to the office on January 2nd and I slip on the ice on the way in, crack my skull open and die, I lose. I could also wait until it's a safer day and show up -- still kick it like a boss. And my cats, husband, family, neighbors and friends would much rather that. Even my boss and co-workers/clients would rather have me alive to flay, than have me kick the bucket. So.
The tension on the stage ahead -- for the next 11 days, do I pace my recovery, and aim for health and long term sustainable effort, towards showing up healthy and strong as it's right to do, or do I push hard and hurt myself? Or, third option, do I go into doldrums when the day to day return on the post op exercises starts to dwindle? When it seems I might go backwards, will I throw in the towel and give up all together at the first set back?
It's exciting. Let's see where this goes.
I strap on the ice pack and set the timer for 20 mins. Enjoy the ride.
I spent some time watching the It Gets Better videos last night. Moving stuff. My favorite is the singing from the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. It's wild how song works. The world needs all our talents. I'm good at storytelling. I'm good at helping humans align their being with their doing. To get really good at what I do, I constantly have to get better at aligning my own being with my doing. It's hard work. I think our careers help us focus on our deepest wounding as human beings, and as we get better, we develop power in that very area where we're broken. We get stronger than most other humans around that and we can GIVE that strength to others to help them along on the human journey. And that's our career. I think firemen saw some hopeless stuff growing up and are COMPELLED to run into burning buildings to do the impossible task of saving someone from fire. Nurses run TO broken bones and tend to them. I run to broken souls: I see someone struggling wi...
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