Becoming a Gay Adult

After a delicious dinner, singing along with Annie Lennox's new fab Christmas Album and dancing to older Annie in my living room, I'm settling in for requisite couch time. It's been a blessed day. I'm grateful for my supervisor, my co-workers, the company with which I work. I'm enjoying work because of them. I'm grateful for the colleagues who've trusted me with their concerns: they've allowed me many opportunities to show my value in the office. I'm grateful for my growth and development, my willingness to engage in the process of becoming the best gay adult Black man I can be on earth. I get feedback that I have positive impact on others. I'm grateful for the deep connections I have with my godson, family members, friends, mentors and mentees. My home feels blessed, my health has been touched by angels: I move with grace and ease and I love what I see in the mirror (inside and out), and my connection with something bigger than myself feel

I'm paying it forward today. Got up for the run for those shut in and who struggle to feed themselves. I've been given gifts of mentoring, opportunity, protection, health and guidance from something bigger than myself. Without those gifts, I'd be shut in and in need of the help that God's Love We Deliver gives. So I'm doing something for them. It warms my heart and keeps me humble.

I overdo. Period. Ugh. So identifying the right actions to take is the name of the game. There are 24 hours in a day: go. It's the other tough thing for me to exercise right now. First moderation in eating (especially late night sugar, which just jacks up my systems). Second, next right action. What's the next right thing to do? Sometimes, it's listen. Sometimes it's breathe. Sometimes is fast twitch muscle activate and execute. Rarely though, is a successful day a frenetic marathon of action. I've developed a bad habit of ruthless checking the box. It's time to let it go. Even at the gym, I've been advised to select quality exercises, do less repetitions and feel the burn anyway. Most importantly, it was suggested I'd get better results. Even there, my fast-paced, BRING IT, do it all mentality fails. Ugh. Slow it down, focus on FORM and breathe. Work well.

I was 11 when I figured out that I wanted to be more thoughtful around 3 things. And at 41 I'm still thinking about those 3 things. Mysterious, I know. For the next 10 days, I'm going to dive into action about them. And I'll reflect afterwards about how I did. What have you always thought about making change around in your life? What can YOU do for 10 days about those things? Today, and over the last couple days, I've been reminded that I do have impact by the way I LIVE my life. It's humbling, and I'm grateful. I want to step up my game. Correction: I'm stepping up my game so I can be of service by example.

The A-list is Gossip Girl for gays: a frothy eclair for turning the brain off. And yet, in response to some who'd analyze it, I think there's something to say for the underbelly of distorted personalities depicted. I say it's a collective call for us to get better as a community in the way we tell our stories and treat each other, now that we've got some stuff. We've had a fiery time forging our identities in a world that can be hostile. The jaw-dropping cruelty (beyond dangerous liaisons) depicted during the A-list episodes borders on farce, and yet, I'd challenge us to notice that the farce is only a smidgen heightened for dramatic effect in the circles some of us aspire to enter. The face: one of utter disdain betraying no vulnerability or hurt and the collection of humans as figurines to decorate our coffee tables and scream, "I belong here," damage more than the pin prick to keep our lips supple, taut and puckered. The other places that we are cre