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Showing posts from 2012

Holidays

Oh thanks be to whoever in wisdom put pause in these darkest days of the year (in the north anyway.) Hopefully you've had time to note the things that went well this year and where you might want to put some attention for 2013. While you're with dear family and friends, take some time to share what's most important to you. Celebrate the wins with them, and share what your dreams are for the year ahead. It is the most intimate thing you can do -- to share so vitally of your self. Wins inspire others. Dreams tickle the imagination of those around you. It's quite possible others share your dream and can support or just run alongside as they accomplish the same dreams with you. If you can find some quiet time alone, go inside. Find the longings and the hurt places and give them space and time to reveal to you some next right actions. Grieving is an action--that might be right today. A career is a direction. Holidays are a time to look thoughtfully at the map. We p

Microinequities and Rising Above

So on a day when I could be raising awareness that there is still no cure for HIV, and yet there's hope it could be preventable if we practice safe behavior, I've got a microinequity stuck in my craw. Doing my NYC duty helping some tourist ladies take that picture in front of some ginormous cut down tree plopped in the perfect location for such things--after she interrupted my confab with Siri sharing a win with a mentor--and what does she say? 'Are you going to run away with my iPhone?' And can you imagine? I chalked it up to crazy, forgave her, said not a word, took the picture, smiled and just shook my head as I walked away. Happy Holidays, lady. Though I know it was a teachable moment, I really wanted to get on with my day.   It's hardly my job to educate everyone else. I have enough on my plate getting the next aha into my own psyche than to be disarmed everytime someone else's nuttiness floods my psyche. So this is one of the moments I chose to shake

The Saddest Day

I've never seen the city so sad. Underneath is a resiliency and a toughness--the city attracts survivors, people who've been through hell and want something more and yet want their privacy and space. This is a social city when you want to be social, but we love our alone and self-sufficient time. A storm forces people to be in touch with each other in ways that are uncomfortable. There are so many who are out of their zone and need help. And it's hard for them to admit or ask for it. Tomorrow, so many who were going to run their own private challenge are spending the time giving to others. It'll be as hard for them as it will be for those who's doors they knock. It's an experiment of giving beyond comfort to help those who suffer. We'll see how that goes.

Rugged Individualism vs Discernment

There is a whole generation that believes (I'm wildly generalizing here) that we must pull ourselves up by our own individual power. While there are many things that we must do for ourselves, there's more power in working together. The challenge is to figure out with whom to align. Look back at your goals, and also note your natural rhythms. Many folks align themselves with the popular, the A-list, the powerful. While interesting, you might soon find yourself suffering from internal conflict, confused as to why you feel as if you're swimming against the current and working twice as hard to get the most basic things done. Salmon swim better with other salmon, birds flying together ease the wind draft, rotating the lead giving everyone else some lift, even in a bicycle race, those behind get the draft advantage. So flock together. Just choose your tribe. Choose people with whom there's little effort to connect. Forcing connections will leave you exhausted. Find fo

Wisdom or Foolhardy Choice

It's hard to find the line in the sand where you're stretching beyond the comfort zone into growth and development and when you're just in over your head. It's been said in a triathlon (swim, then bike, then run) the swim is merely a warm up for the more challenging parts of the race. But when I'm a novice swimmer who takes 1.5 hours to do what others do in 40 minutes, is it still a warm up? or is it now the full course, the main meal, the entree needing no dessert? Or when I fell and now need medical attention to a few wounds, do I give up and go to the medical tent or soldier on to the finish line and then pause? It's tricky. It may depend on the situation, the day, other variables. How we decide what's pushing our limits and what's breaking us is hard. I guess the answer in this case was in my godson's eyes as he looked up at me proudly, held my hand and ran the last few yards to the finish line. I gave him my finisher shirt. He seemed to

Do One Thing that Terrifies You

So we're in 3rd Quarter 2012. It's a good time to assess projects and see where things stand as we get closer to performance reviews. In order to turbo-charge performance you might have to amp up the stakes a bit. Do one thing that terrifies you to get the motor going. I'm aiming to do a triathlon next Sunday. Actually, it more than terrifies me--I think I'm completely out of my league. The sprint triathlon for practice a couple weeks ago was pushing the limit for me--I swam most of the swim portion doing snow angels in the water on my back (in a wetsuit.) It was sad. Third to last out of the water. And now, to wrap up this triathlon training adventure, I'm choosing to attempt the Olympic distance which includes a .9 mile swim. And today in the pool I managed 900 yards (barely half)...and I stopped after each 25 yards doing that distance in an hour. I have an hour to complete the mile on race day. Yikes. So pick something that's a stretch and dare yourself

Mid-Year Review Time

This is a good time to look at your annual goals. Spruce them up to reflect any changes in direction on your team and review them with your supervisor. Be careful to recalibrate goals which may have become obsolete or less critical given some other priorities. Review your changes with a couple folks to make sure you still have realistic targets. Work well.

Love is in the Air

NYC is electric during the last Sunday in June for us with healthy yet minority sexualities. And this is a day when we gather and say, dance and march with a brave attempt to demonstrate love for ourselves and hope for love and equal treatment by law. We are all human. May we all show each other compassion today. And thank you to those who love and celebrate with us on this day and throughout the year.

Give me a Break

We all need downtime. Farmers know to leave land fallow for a period to allow the soil to regain the nutrients necessary for a full crop the season thereafter. If we run our bodies at full throttle consistently throughout the year, our bodies will force us to take a break, but it will be no fun: it'll be in a hospital or in an emergency room. We're build to require rest. This Memorial Day weekend is intensely special: we pause to honor the brave who take action to protect our American Way. Nothing's perfect: so America can be criticized for many flaws, but all in all we do many wonderful things for humankind and our military folks sometimes give their lives so we can keep pursuing the dream of America. Today, as part of my break from work, my partner and I had the privilige of hearing stories of New York City on a bus tour from Sherwood. He's pretty amazing--Vietnam buddies who died close by, close running partners who died in the 9/11 attacks--he's glad to be a

Delight in the Day

The most disturbing thing I've experienced in a long time--a huge thud. One of those sounds New Yorkers hear and take a beat to look, because we all want it never to be something that disturbs our super-ordered life. And the beat also ensures it's less than a convenient distraction for a pickpocket. And as I rode my bike over, to what I hoped was just a garbage bag of stuff lying on the asphalt, and as I thought about the car I know intuitively had driven away, as I noticed the stunned man, almost petrified 50 feet away staring hoping he would move, and the woman trembling talking on the phone--everyone was keeping a distance... Sentence fragment, I know. Bear with me, I'm tearing... As I rode my bike closer and some brave soul was now sheltering who I must imagine was no longer of this world, I passed his cane, his prone body, face down, bruised leg, or was it varicose veins from years of drinking? I thought to myself, "was he older having had a full life, was he dr

You're Surrounded

Remember, you have a career and it's your responsibility to attend to it. Think of it as your other child, especially if you're a parent. Your career requires just as much attention. And, remember that just as you are attending to yours, that others are attending to theirs. You can be supportive and kind to others too. And that can be even if you're colleagues vying for the same position, or if you have mentees, and sometimes even your own mentors or those to whom you look for guidance. We're all in this together and at different times we need support. Think of who you can support today. Go beyond your own challenges and seek out others to encourage, cheer, and shoulder. The career journey is easier if we go beyond our limited personal scope. Live and work well together.

Networking: the routine

Think of networking as flossing: you need good tools and you need to set aside time to do it on a regular basis. Probably one of your least favorite activities, but without it, you're inviting cavities. The cavities in consideration here: gaps in your ability to land a new income source if the current one unravels. And we never know (given at will agreements with organizations) when that will happen. Networking when you're burnt out at your current assignment, or when you've lost an assignment, is usually the most painful. Akin to a root canal. However, networking on a regular basis keeps your healthy connections with others alive so that when you do need them you're already all good to go.  You may want to have your own business cards done (in addition to company cards if you have those too.) Certainly, get your LinkedIn and resume souped up and ready to go. It's amazing in the digital age, that people still enjoy the nice paper for resumes when you

The Work Offsite

These team meetings that help set goals and priorities for the year ahead can be overwhelming. There's tons of networking to do, lots to learn and digest, and the pace can be maddening. A few tips: 1. Set a clear intention for the offsite. Maybe there's an initiative whose sponsor you want to corner and quiz. Or, you might have a personal goal to stretch into asking a question in the general session, or alternatively to hang back more and listen. Maybe set one personal and one work goal. 2. Pace yourself. Note how much you can reasonably do and still be crisp and present for all you choose to do. If you're nodding off while the leader's reviewing key points, that extra social time or round of golf might have pushed you too far. 3. Follow up afterwards with all your new contacts. Find organic ways to reach out to all your new contacts within a week or so. Keep the connection fresh (they met lots of people too.) You never know when those connections might be valua

Life and Death

Bonus time, big projects at work to complete, goals set for 2012 in motion, and awards season--media is buzzing. And death--mid-winter, and it seems several artists are offing themselves, some after a torrid affair with addiction. Deep mid-winter. Workaholism is an addiction as well: one that separates us from the light of our love, our spine, that which makes us most human. It drives us to join with our corporations, rather than our whole selves. All addictions drain us of our life vitality. The comments around Whitney's regal presence, talent, voice and the subtraction addiction was from all of that, remind me deeply that our gifts are irrevocably damaged by driving too hard towards pleasure. That pleasure can be a job well done, a project complete, a raise, promotion... I guess I'm most reminded in this to listen to the support from those who love us. The search for pleasure (whether the high of Valentine's Day Chocolates or a job well done, a rival bested) can

The Test

Must be mid-terms. There are steps that separate men from boys. And I faced a tough week and did it with the best of grace and ease I could muster. I learned lots. One: Annie Lennox rocks it in "Smithereens," and we certainly experience life as islands at time, however we're joined under water. So it's critical that we never bomb each other, even when we appear to be enemies. From a distance we are all one. Two: As Meryl says as Thatcher, our thoughts, words, actions, habits, character and destiny deserve tending. To remain viable, I believe we must be vigilant. Daily. Three: We are all sick. Seriously. We wake up to a story we tell ourselves. We are nervous about ever letting it go. Some of us are shapeshifters, workaholics, some of us are doormats--perpetual victims with a really good story about how the world dumps on us. Some of us drink too much (thinking it's never really enough), and some of us sit in the dark and stare at a computer screen late int

Reality is Unavoidable

Denial is a powerful drug, however, it's braver to face truth. And the best way to get there is by triangulating the feedback from others in your life. Ask others you trust and with whom you feel safe what you do well and where they feel you struggle. Self-analysis is great, however, you're only going to be more accurate with feedback. By now, you should have some idea as to whether 2012's grand ambition was too much (or too little.) Test that against your "fave five." Find those few folks who have your best interest in mind. Let them know what you're about this year and how you're doing so far. Hard to believe we're 2 weeks into a new year already. 1/26th's done. How are you pacing?

2012 Begins

Rest. Take a beat. Pause completely. Find a quiet spot in your mind, a quiet place to listen, some thoughtful people to brunch with this morning. It is in the quiet we get the most potent inspiration for action throughout the year. Listen. Pause. It's in that moment before the sprint that the 100 meter dash is run. It's in the shower that the CEO alights on the solution to the thorniest management concern. It's in the walk on the beach, wrapped in warmth, watching the waves come in from low tide, that I suddenly realize that life is alright, just one step forward at a time. You are surrounded by a world of good. Breathe well today.