Becoming a Gay Adult

What you believe forms the foundation of your thoughts, words and actions. It may even moderate your physiology. So take time today to scan your beliefs. You might find some troubling ones, and resolve to eliminate them. However, the mind is tricky. We find that beliefs can change, though it's often the actions and developed evidence over time that shifts them, rather than intellectual negation or attempts to erase them manually. So what can you do different than your beliefs? What can you do today? Try one new action in the direction of the new belief you want to hold and see what shifts. For example, many of us, believe we're less than adequate for life's adventure. So, we keep our dreams small, we hedge our bets, stay under the radar. What would it be like if we DID believe that we deserve a full and expressed life? What might we do differently? Then do it. Or do some small version of it. Speak up to a friend about something you need or want. Ask somebody

All champions know it's important to take breaks. Some of us use breaks as our own internal carrot. "I will get this much done and then I will take a break." It can be a valuable tool. Knowing that a break is coming sets the brain up for a rest and allows it to perform more effectively during the work time allotted. It creates endurance for the long haul. If you feel that you're just working forever, it dulls our edge and keeps us in a drone of activity that gradually loses umph. So go ahead, schedule a break. It could be a lunch break today from chores so you're more focused while you're doing them. It could be a week in Mexico, that helps you focus on one of your long term projects, or a day trip to the zoo with the kids to help you get through the week that feels like a zoo. Something that allows you to completely take your mind off your routine. Most people fail to take their vacation days. And it's mostly for lack of a plan. Take time today to plan a

There is a movement called Positive Psychology that I believe is crucial, especially when the odds of success of a venture are low. Believe in the success and the actions you take tend to be more successful. Believe you'll fail, or collect all the hard data that says you'll fail, and chances are: you fail. Detractors suggest that we could be hit with cold water of reality no matter what we "believe." I say hogwash. Check out Sue Shellenbarger's article, "Keep Thinking Happy Thoughts," (link below) if you'd like for two reasons. One, I always thought of the WSJ as infalliable (even though they do have a 'corrections' section.) And for my own part, one of my lies is that I need to be perfect to be successful. That any failure on my part was attributable to some error I made. Also hogwash. Winners just stay in the game and believe they can win and in the cause or adventure they are on so fully that they put their all into it. So, do you bel

If you're anything like me, you get aggressive in action and forget to breathe. So today, I thought I'd share some tips for the road. A. Pay attention to the other people on the journey. At the office, take a moment in the rush of the day and walk over to someone else's desk or cubicle and for 5 minutes truly find out how they are doing. B. At some point at the keyboard or on the mobile device, drop the shoulders, look out the window at the trees who are happy in this moment (OK...at the colorful brochure of your next vacation spot on your desk, and breathe. C. List a couple things you're grateful for at each meal. It could be, "I'm grateful to have a job." "I'm grateful I have insurance, pension and benefits so I can take care of myself if I get ill." "I'm grateful I have the health and energy to jobhunt today." "I'm grateful to have my family and friends in my life." Life is fed by your appreciation of i

Appropriately, I hit the wall today because I totally overdid it yesterday and I'm running on empty. Yesterday I went to the gym in the morning, met with my coach, informational interview on hotel industry (alumni connection), then over to Queens for coaching best practices sharing with another alumni, coach client on phone, then phone meeting with prospective group client, then home office to catch up on emails and blog/tweet, then back to the city for HR Networking event, then coach my client, then head home to send client homework for the week. Day started with gym at 5am and ended with emails to clients and new HR networking contacts at midnight. And who said jobhunting is a full-time job? Today I'm dialing back on the actions. I did however identify another target company and went on their site to create a jobhunt profile. Thankfully, I have all the names, address, phone numbers and contact info for past supervisors at my last few companies, other referrals (name, pho

Whew! Today has already been an amazing day. Had MY career coaching session which helps me to see that I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY when it comes to building my career. It's those endless doubts and worry that weigh be down like baggage. I call the thoughts that are unproductive, my Hypocrite. And I'm working on finding ways to counteract the statements, ideas that block productive action. Coming up with conscious tactics helps tremendously. Of course, I'm distractedly thinking about what I'll hear from my FAVORITE potential employer of the day. I got my "rejection" notices for two jobs I applied for, and they do sting. I second guess my talent and strengths and wonder if I should just go to the nearest grocery store, retailer or fast food restaurant and take a minimum wage job and plan to give up my apartment for an SRO...and I thank my Hypocrite voice and send him packing...for now. Step 7---Your Digital Footprint We all know we have an online presence.

Interview was big fun. I really liked the space, the people, the vibe. It's the whole package. I'm afraid to jinx it so no more on that. It's a rainy day in Gotham...and windy. I'm atwitter with excitement to hear... So, onward to Step 6--Resumes and Cover Letters May I just say one more thing about this morning's fab fun time? I'm letting go of the result. I did my best (good research, I breathed, I tried to be myself completely, and I had fun: lots of laughter). Now, move on. I'm no expert on these two documents. You might want to reach out to the endless pointers available online in places like the WSJ Careers section or the New York Times. There are sample resumes and letters which you can review. Basically though, your resume and cover letter are tools to tell a story. They will often be the way many hiring managers or recruiters will meet you. In writing them, most of us already have one. My two cents is that ,instead of just pulling up t

So it's Sunday. However, want to get you thinking about Step 4--Identifying Real People who do what you want to do Try reaching out to your alma mater and see if they can run you a list of people who graduated from your school who do what you love. Bring it up at cocktail parties and other networking functions that you'd like to talk with people in this area. A good network base will serve you well in your jobhunt. Develop one and hone it with several conversations over the next few weeks. Generating this list is way more fun with a couple of your best buddies over brunch. and Step 5--the informational interview. It's a chance for you to connect with people who are doing what you think you'd love doing in organizations you think you'd love working in. The end goal of this step is to aim for about 15, 15-minute informational interviews. Set up a spreadsheet or table in Word that lists: organization name, a couple notes about the company, the name of persons you know

So my personal update today, this glorious Saturday in New York (it's honestly never really more beautiful than this), is that I'm twittering with excitement about my life. I really feel like over the last 2 1/2 months, I've got such great clarity through some good introspection about what really makes me happy at work. It's so important a foundation for a life well lived. We spend, afterall, the majority of our hours AT WORK. More time there than with our family and loved ones (unless you work with them.) More time at work than at home or sleeping...sometimes combined! One woman I contacted for an informational interview told me she's been working 100 hours a week this week: that's SEVEN days a week...and even then that's 14.29 hours a day...THE MAJORITY OF HER LIFE. Blew me away. SO, if you're in pain at work, you're spending the majority (for some of us...and that includes those who are on constant call 24/7 on mobile devices) of your LIFE in pain

So can you believe it? I have the treasured scheduled LIVE (vs phone screen) interview (which are now called "chats") on Monday. You know what that means: a day of company research. That's down the line in the process. I just know you'd want to do a happy dance by YOUR computer to celebrate with me. So far (since this all started November 4, 2009) it's been ONE phone screening and now one chat APPOINTMENT (which could get cancelled at any moment so I'm just saying it's scheduled.) Never count unhatched chickens. And, I'm going to officially start counting the number of positions I've applied to starting with the approximate FORTY. Final personal note for today: lots of people around me think I should get a job soon. This is to track the story and see just how "soon" soon is, and keep up my spirits. Seriously Julie and Julia inspired. OK, step 2: INDUSTRY/FUNCTION So now that you've written out your seven stories and you've seen a

Hi, my name is Karl and I am a jobhunter. I've been using myself as a case study. And I really believe in the process now. The first step is a self-assessment. What am I passionate about? If I wrote seven stories about things I enjoyed doing in my lifetime so far: with friends and family, with co-workers, on my own, at school, etc. what patterns would I see. For me it has always been about helping people get to their inner truth and then expressing that in their thoughts, speech and actions. And since we spend the most time at work, I want for others to be happy at work, and help organizations I believe in succeed. I've always been deeply affected by those who are outsiders: so orientation programs that help newbies join groups are important to me. Corporations call that "onboarding." Etc. You get the idea. My stories also point to training (helping groups get better at something that's human relationship oriented like "managing up" or "delegating.&

Here's a summary of what we cover in the Work Well Groups if you're interested: Click Here . New group starts Feb 2010.

Work well lives. Hmmm...so now I'm tweeting at careercoachkarl and ready to revitalize this blog. Saw Julie & Julia... I'm still grieving leaving MTV Networks. I guess I'll always question if it was the right thing to do on November 4, 2009. It's complete. I left. And there is a vision of a position with a media company (or another company I love) where I get to onboard, career coach and train employees. I see highly effective employees loving what they do, using their best strengths. They have clarity about how what they're doing drives the success of their organization. Booya. And here's the affirmation: the position exists and I'm finding it. I'll land in the role smoothly and successfully and bring home the salary that helps me live an abundant life. Meanwhile, I'm getting ready to launch Work Well Group #2. The prior group ended with one person having 3 jobs to choose from. And everyone else had greater clarity about their dream