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Keep Believing

Wow.  I would never wish the level of pain I was in yesterday on anyone.  Honestly.  It was either gallstone, a strained stomach muscle, or kidney stone.  Ugh.  Thank the universe for pain medication, though I was just out of it all day.  Seems the pain is getting better.  It's the state of mind that pain puts me in that's unbearable more than anything.

It reminds me of the pain of looking for work for 3 1/2 months, following all the steps I've outlined, and still, all there is to do is wait for this painful period to pass.  The figuring out of what direction to go in, where to focus energy, and ultimately just wanting this situation: joblessness, to go away.

I did think of giving up, I confess.  I thought, if this is how it's to go, then that's that.  Let's go.  And yet, that was a small moment: for the most part I'm passionately fighting for a good life.  I did have a dark moment, and there was moaning and crying too.  Yup, I did.

I try to keep those moments between me and the closest people in my inner circle, so my two best buds got an earful this weekend.

Today is a "dust myself off" day.  I'm going to attempt some time with friends since Monday is supposed to be one of those whole day interviews with a temp agency.  That means lots of sleep tonight and making sure I have everything from ID paperwork, to start and end dates and supervisor information for every job I've had, plus references and contact information for them.  It's going to be fun.

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