I believe (now) that we human beings are mutually dependent. They say none of us are islands. I've heard "six degrees of separation" and the "butterfly effect."
Living in NYC, we try so hard sometimes, maybe because it would be impossible to admit our connection to each other 5,000 times a day (if you run through Times Square as many times as I do a day.) In rural Jamaica where I grew up we said hello each time we passed someone on the street. And up in rural New York State where I went to college we had a "hello" tradition: we said hello to everyone we passed in the neighborhood.
Whether we acknowledge who we pass by out of politeness or a sense of true brotherhood, whether we culturally rush by heads down, we are all connected. Remind yourself of that if you feel a drift into a sense of one against the world.
Yesterday was humbling as I opened up some more to those who love me; and those I love. I told them I was afraid of ending up homeless eating out of garbage cans like I see some of my African-American brothers doing. And I told people that the news was unhelpful, since it scared me with morbid statistics of what might happen to me in my job hunt.
And they treated me to lunch and dinner.
And I redoubled my efforts, and worked smarter instead of harder because I want to repay the kindness or at least pay them forward. I am supported by some really loving friends and people I've helped in the past. But most poignantly, I realize that often I've pushed forward, self-interest top of mind, and blown past a fellow human being rushing towards some achievement, forgetting we're all in this together. And I've blown off friends and people who love me, to get there. There's no there there...just here, and now and love.
So on my remaining job hunt, and in my new job, and as I coach others, I want to remember to pause and say thank you to those who champion and support me. And to do that, now and then, regularly and forever, as long as I breathe.
Living in NYC, we try so hard sometimes, maybe because it would be impossible to admit our connection to each other 5,000 times a day (if you run through Times Square as many times as I do a day.) In rural Jamaica where I grew up we said hello each time we passed someone on the street. And up in rural New York State where I went to college we had a "hello" tradition: we said hello to everyone we passed in the neighborhood.
Whether we acknowledge who we pass by out of politeness or a sense of true brotherhood, whether we culturally rush by heads down, we are all connected. Remind yourself of that if you feel a drift into a sense of one against the world.
Yesterday was humbling as I opened up some more to those who love me; and those I love. I told them I was afraid of ending up homeless eating out of garbage cans like I see some of my African-American brothers doing. And I told people that the news was unhelpful, since it scared me with morbid statistics of what might happen to me in my job hunt.
And they treated me to lunch and dinner.
And I redoubled my efforts, and worked smarter instead of harder because I want to repay the kindness or at least pay them forward. I am supported by some really loving friends and people I've helped in the past. But most poignantly, I realize that often I've pushed forward, self-interest top of mind, and blown past a fellow human being rushing towards some achievement, forgetting we're all in this together. And I've blown off friends and people who love me, to get there. There's no there there...just here, and now and love.
So on my remaining job hunt, and in my new job, and as I coach others, I want to remember to pause and say thank you to those who champion and support me. And to do that, now and then, regularly and forever, as long as I breathe.
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