Skip to main content

When You Feel Giving Up Is the Next Step

Sometimes giving up feels like the next step. And that's a moment for major pause. It's usually smart to hold off at least 24 hours before taking action on the "give up" impulse.

This is when you call on your closest friends and family. It's time for an intervention. Giving up has major ramifications on your finances, your psychology and your health. So before you do that, please, call for emergency support. Consider yourself in the "red" zone.

That said, sometimes the feeling is exactly right. There may be some major action that is suggested. However, doing it on your own is usually less effective, than getting some input from those who have YOUR best interests at heart. Organizations are poorly designed (as in DNA of an organization) to put your interests first. So the support you want to turn to here is outside the office.

You also want to turn to industry/function network associates at this time as well. They might have a perspective on the industry or your function that is outside your radar. This can help to shape your decision-making when you feel like throwing in the towel.

Most of all, allow yourself to feel the feelings. You might still have to lead a presentation, give a meeting, do your performance review or deliver unpleasant news to someone else, even be a shoulder for someone else today. Draw on your innner Academy-Award performance actor and do it. The old truism, "never let them see you sweat," is the right one in these times. Those who need to know, spill your guts. Those whose loyalty TO YOU is questionable, never need to know. Your clients, vendors, supervisor may be inappropriate folks to bring into the conversation at this time. Wait for greater clarity first.

It's also good (if you have insurance) to explore therapy during these times as well. There may be underlying issues that are re-surfacing or surfacing for the first time that need your attention. It could be that once you've done that process, things look rosier.

So get at least one conversation scheduled today with a trusted person in your inner circle. Taking care of you is your primary responsibility. Instead of "never give up," I offer, "only give up, AFTER checking in with your inner circle." That of course means you want to work consciously to nurture and build that inner circle over time so they are present for you when you need them.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I make mistakes (and I bounce back)

I hate making mistakes.  I love my luxurious fantasy of perfection.  And today my humanity, my imperfection shone through fiery.  I hung in there and cleaned it up. I've learned, you just tell people you screwed up.  Say how you're going to fix it immediately, and how you're protecting it from happening going forward.  It matters little whether anybody else had anything to do with it.  Throw no one under the bus, however, you may want to bring them in on the effect the error had and get their buy in for the proactive solution for future transactions. Truth is, things move so fast that especially with transactional work, there are bound to be errors now and then.  The time it takes to be perfect would result in paralysis.  It's that magical balance between getting it done (and maybe having to beg forgiveness) and taking so long to deliver that by the time you do deliver, it's too late to be of any use (especially since you've now teed off ...

I'm Happy

I'm so happy that I can't stop crying--Sting. These are beautiful days.  It's amazing how absolutely gorgeous Spring is in New York City.  The light alone streaming through the delicious apple green trees makes everyone sparkly. I called my Mom today, on a pause riding my bicycle down the West Side Highway bike path.  I looked at the Hudson, choppy with the wind bursting with joy.  I say joy, though I have no idea if rivers experience joy as they approach salty water.  I was joyful and projected it on the cresting water, white with air. My mother is happy.  She has a deep faith which she passed on to me.  It's sustained me and kept me strong in the face of the impossible.  We said prayers for each other on the phone.  She's got a new adventure coming up and I have one too: so we held faith for each other that something bigger than both of us would guide us.  We reflected on the fact that we as a family have been through many challe...

Draft your Dream Job

Every once in a while, just for kicks, take a blank piece of paper and write out your ideal next job. Keep all the things you do now that you love, drop the things you're less good at or have mastered and want to let go, and fill the remaining space with stretch tasks and goals. Then write out the names of people who have your ideal job. Make a plan to reach out to them and have a 15 to 20 minute coffee break with them over the next month. Find out what it would take for you to get to the next job that's right for you. Do you need to ask for a stretch assignment? Would you be willing to make some time outside work hours to work on a related project with a mentor? Maybe do some volunteering in line with the new vision work? I suggest that you create a plan and list the milestones. It will amazing you in December how much closer you are to your vision, if you're just a little deliberate about it. Once you've created a plan for yourself, ask a friend to keep you acco...