dancing in the heat

100 Lives in 2023

Legacy -- what I leave behind. Executive Function -- I just looked that up and have a lot more to learn about it. The concept struck me as core to this next chapter of my life that brings together all I've learned so far. Building ability to learn, resilience in the face of terror and disaster, being bendable and shaping while maintaining a spine, having a North Star -- a clear direction, a system of support, and an operating system. Getting regular feedback to dim the echo chamber effect. Regular cadence of reflection time. This is what's required in 2023 and beyond. Cal Newport is correct -- companies have put the full responsibility on each worker to determine how to orchestrate their lives. At the same time, we can work 24 hours--technology allows us to use the same device to wake up and learn what's happening halfway around the globe. Athletes have coaches who share best practices on what to do holistically step by step to optimize their performance on the court or f

I make mistakes (and I bounce back)

I hate making mistakes. I love my luxurious fantasy of perfection. And today my humanity, my imperfection shone through fiery. I hung in there and cleaned it up. I've learned, you just tell people you screwed up. Say how you're going to fix it immediately, and how you're protecting it from happening going forward. It matters little whether anybody else had anything to do with it. Throw no one under the bus, however, you may want to bring them in on the effect the error had and get their buy in for the proactive solution for future transactions. Truth is, things move so fast that especially with transactional work, there are bound to be errors now and then. The time it takes to be perfect would result in paralysis. It's that magical balance between getting it done (and maybe having to beg forgiveness) and taking so long to deliver that by the time you do deliver, it's too late to be of any use (especially since you've now teed off your colleague by be

Staying in Balance

Sometimes I want to speed ahead. Other times I just want to hide under the covers. Balancing those energies is the trick to maintaining a useful and effective life. Of course there are times when either is the right thing to do. There are times to rest. When the doctors said they wanted to keep me in the hospital until Thursday, I almost saw red. And my doctor had already prefaced it by, "You're not going to like what I'm going to say..." However, I'm doing my best to rest quietly even though I fought to do that at home. I'll be back to full energy if I rest now, than if I push too hard today. And, if I fail to get the steel cut oats into the hot water and turn down the flame, there may be a kitchen disaster. So I did rush to get the right chemistry going on the stove. Even then, I was careful, since injuries are a no-no for me. So I rushed with thoughtfulness. As I write, I let the words flow onto the page easily. And then, I pause. I look

Becoming a Gay Adult

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