I lost my way. Disillusion can be freeing of illusion or deprivation of a vision. I think both are happening with me.
And so I conclude that is is amazing--and I think an important part of every journey--to get lost. We fight it, but sometimes it's the right thing to do.
Yes, I'm looking for a new job. I had to walk away from what was presented to me as the rest of 2013 at work. But it's bigger than that. I looked at what I was doing and I felt as if the walls were crashing in on me--physically because of the volume, but we all feel that. Moreso, psychologically and emotionally--this was less than what makes me a full contributor to the spin of the world. I want to give more and giving less was killing me. I'm taking time to pause and rediscover the passion that will get me back in the game of work--to be a full and fulfilled contributor giving of the wisdom I've gained from 23 years of full-time work, from managing others, from observing leaders, managers and HR in several businesses and a few industries. Yes, money to pay bills is needed stat. And yes, life is fueled here in New York etc by dollars, income. But, my dears, passion is essential to a life, and work is most of it.
We spend the majority of hours of our lives at work. They need to count to our being.
For me, there needs to be an excitement. A bounce out of bed and go to work energy, else it all falls flat and I get depressed. If that's you, this post is for you too. Align the work you do to the core of who you are, and what you can give to this gorgeous world.
I stopped exploring right work on this blog, in the same measure that I lost the passion of doing my own work. I was mechanically delivering. But for all of us, there is more. And now, thanks to some rest, meditation, long walks on the beach, quiet writing and talking with mentors, the engine of why I get up and go to work has sputtered alive. I'm ready. Again.
What also strikes as critically important, is that our careers run in cycles. Naturally, we grow older and within that process what motivates and drives us organically changes as well. I believe we're meant to honor that. As a twenty-year old my bandwidth, energy and valence to do a certain volume and type of work was what it was. At 44, who could believe that would be my age, I'm just bounded by different values, cares, needs, energy, etc. I am a different person. As we age, we need to consider what we can/desire to contribute, where and how.
So as I puttered through this thinking, a recruiter suggested I look up this guy, Simon Sinek. In learning about his work, I stumbled upon this talk noted in his blog on www.startwithwhy.com. And it clicked--I'd lost my "why." I might as well have lost oxygen. Check this short talk out if you have time. I cried deeply: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-fzwk3ScF0#at=12, It's what I've been thinking, put beautifully.
His work is sensible and can be applied by leaders of people, but more importantly, I think it asks individual workers the question--why do you get out of bed every day and go to work? Individuals are responsible for having the internal dialogue and bringing their insights to managers. I think it goes both ways.
It's as profound a challenge as any. He's hardly the first to note that most people go to jobs they tolerate and some even despise. This is old news. It's also well known that folks should identify what they love doing, but it's been sort of clinical--aptitude tests and MBTI and such. What I love about the simplicity of his opinion (and thus profound) is that there's an ego--we all know that well--a Darwinian survival button in all of us. We want raises and promotions that validate some external drive to progress. That drives most corporate behavior.
Then, there is this deeper behavioral source--one which we connected with as children. It's what our dreams were made of when we felt boundless. To reconnect with that passion and to find work that allows us to make a difference, the kind of difference that exhausts you but you want to do more--that's the eraser of depression, sadness, the relighter of desire, appetite, boundless energy and a sense of service. We need that as much as we need oxygen. And that's why I was feeling suffocated. Ultimately, we get up for others. We get up to contribute to the easy spin of Earth on its axis as one human specie. We let go of the I and embrace the wonderful wheee. Otherwise we become petty and rule followers and tear each other apart. Nobody wins when the oxygen is sucked out of the room.
I'm back, I'm breathing again. Who knows if I'm back blogging, but hope returns. There is a wonderful purpose to all our lives, I remember that now again. Charity has returned and I'm excited to be on the journey of making life at work fun again. And may we all find that in our work so that what we do all day, becomes us.
And so I conclude that is is amazing--and I think an important part of every journey--to get lost. We fight it, but sometimes it's the right thing to do.
Yes, I'm looking for a new job. I had to walk away from what was presented to me as the rest of 2013 at work. But it's bigger than that. I looked at what I was doing and I felt as if the walls were crashing in on me--physically because of the volume, but we all feel that. Moreso, psychologically and emotionally--this was less than what makes me a full contributor to the spin of the world. I want to give more and giving less was killing me. I'm taking time to pause and rediscover the passion that will get me back in the game of work--to be a full and fulfilled contributor giving of the wisdom I've gained from 23 years of full-time work, from managing others, from observing leaders, managers and HR in several businesses and a few industries. Yes, money to pay bills is needed stat. And yes, life is fueled here in New York etc by dollars, income. But, my dears, passion is essential to a life, and work is most of it.
We spend the majority of hours of our lives at work. They need to count to our being.
For me, there needs to be an excitement. A bounce out of bed and go to work energy, else it all falls flat and I get depressed. If that's you, this post is for you too. Align the work you do to the core of who you are, and what you can give to this gorgeous world.
I stopped exploring right work on this blog, in the same measure that I lost the passion of doing my own work. I was mechanically delivering. But for all of us, there is more. And now, thanks to some rest, meditation, long walks on the beach, quiet writing and talking with mentors, the engine of why I get up and go to work has sputtered alive. I'm ready. Again.
What also strikes as critically important, is that our careers run in cycles. Naturally, we grow older and within that process what motivates and drives us organically changes as well. I believe we're meant to honor that. As a twenty-year old my bandwidth, energy and valence to do a certain volume and type of work was what it was. At 44, who could believe that would be my age, I'm just bounded by different values, cares, needs, energy, etc. I am a different person. As we age, we need to consider what we can/desire to contribute, where and how.
So as I puttered through this thinking, a recruiter suggested I look up this guy, Simon Sinek. In learning about his work, I stumbled upon this talk noted in his blog on www.startwithwhy.com. And it clicked--I'd lost my "why." I might as well have lost oxygen. Check this short talk out if you have time. I cried deeply: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-fzwk3ScF0#at=12, It's what I've been thinking, put beautifully.
His work is sensible and can be applied by leaders of people, but more importantly, I think it asks individual workers the question--why do you get out of bed every day and go to work? Individuals are responsible for having the internal dialogue and bringing their insights to managers. I think it goes both ways.
It's as profound a challenge as any. He's hardly the first to note that most people go to jobs they tolerate and some even despise. This is old news. It's also well known that folks should identify what they love doing, but it's been sort of clinical--aptitude tests and MBTI and such. What I love about the simplicity of his opinion (and thus profound) is that there's an ego--we all know that well--a Darwinian survival button in all of us. We want raises and promotions that validate some external drive to progress. That drives most corporate behavior.
Then, there is this deeper behavioral source--one which we connected with as children. It's what our dreams were made of when we felt boundless. To reconnect with that passion and to find work that allows us to make a difference, the kind of difference that exhausts you but you want to do more--that's the eraser of depression, sadness, the relighter of desire, appetite, boundless energy and a sense of service. We need that as much as we need oxygen. And that's why I was feeling suffocated. Ultimately, we get up for others. We get up to contribute to the easy spin of Earth on its axis as one human specie. We let go of the I and embrace the wonderful wheee. Otherwise we become petty and rule followers and tear each other apart. Nobody wins when the oxygen is sucked out of the room.
I'm back, I'm breathing again. Who knows if I'm back blogging, but hope returns. There is a wonderful purpose to all our lives, I remember that now again. Charity has returned and I'm excited to be on the journey of making life at work fun again. And may we all find that in our work so that what we do all day, becomes us.
Comments