There's so much I've written. There are essences I want to remind myself about--however, it has been written about Thanksgiving, the Holidays, end of year rituals, performance reviews, quiet time and reflection, holiday office parties, even about death.
That all is happening now. As a Human Resources Manager for a small team, it's devastating to experience the death of a colleague. And as we say goodbye, and honor what he brought to our team, sadness and grief, and wondering if there's anything anyone could have done more of to keep his brilliant candle burning just longer--a decade, a year, weeks to say goodbye properly...
I sit here at a loss. I think about his mother, and friends, and at this time of year. And I bless them--hold them in love and we'll see what the right action is. He is. He was loved.
I ask myself (and we ask ourselves about the importance of things at this time of year anyway), what is most important. I want to go to some deep thought. However, it appears to me that being in the present is all there truly is.
Be here now.
Be with the grief of suddenly losing someone vibrant, alive, caring, trustworthy, upstanding, who just wanted to be of service so intensely. Be with the love of those who remain--thoughtful, kind, available. Be the one of whom love will be written when we too draw our last breath. Imagine our last encounter with a being is the one we're in now, and find a way to have that be our best moment--the one we treasured. I find breathing helpful in the moment. The simple act of letting the air into the body, and exhaling completely. This is life. And let that breath inform the process of thinking, and doing, and resting.
There's much written about gratitude. This year, I'm simply grateful to be alive, and to be able to call on many significant others who are still with us. Bless the departed.
i will be ok this is so scary -- towards the end of the work day, i found out from my brother that San Francisco is going into almost lockdown. and David and I finished up the essential work items and took a break to get groceries for 2 weeks. NYC could be next. we're now prepared but worried about how this will impact our lives. we both treasure exercise -- cycling, long walks -- what if all that is essentially curbed? we came back, i took care of work pop ups and now am back to my personal life. i'm learning about this work from home thing that can take over all the hours in a paranoid panic of overdoing. i'm learning to slow down after the work day. allow the sunset to be the curtain to a focus on work and doing, and to shift to relax, let go, release the day. this will pass. we will be ok. we do the best we can and let go. the rest is up to something larger than all of us.
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