Skip to main content

On the 13th Day -- 2 Years and 8 Months later

It's been 13 days since I walked away and it's time to check in again. Hoping to document the process for remembrance and to help others. I've spent the days cycling, swimming, having great home cooked meals, reconnecting with family and neighbors, sleeping the proper 8 hours at night, and checking out Impulse (on YouTube Red). David and I (now married, wedding, honeymoon) went to the theater, sleep in late and exercise together. It's been pretty incredible. And I'm scared. Who steps away from a full-time job without a new one? And this aging business -- I need a new right hip and a great surgeon who will tell me I CAN run again. I want to run. It releases endorphins that tell me it's all going to be ok. And I need to know it's all going to be ok. I put all in the last gig. I did amazing work. It was hard -- politics, the founder culture (letting go is hard), 360 reviews and telling the truth when everyone loved the drama so much it was hard to see that it was cancer level damaging. Solve the problem, but we're taking no responsibility and none of the action items are to be ours. We will continue to do exactly what we were doing before, we're sure it's the others. What others? I kick myself for failing to go harder, stronger and trust my gut -- I am the grown up. I am the adult. There is no other one. No others. AND, it's my job to draw out the others to join me in being the grown up. Adulting is hard. It is demanded though, now more than ever. We all need to bring our ADULT game to the office. All the time. We can cry into happy hour drinks but the drama stays outside the office. I've also spent some time going over everything I've learned in HR for over 15 years. It's all true. All the things -- values are critical and need to be explicit, mutually agreed on and then put into action. It's not ok to step on them. Intel CEO resigns -- over a relationship. Of course he knew...and still he persisted. And so it goes. It's the HR job to be the one to call that stuff out from way before and going forward. And it sucks that it will always be that leaders will push the bounds of the agreed on values and rules of the game -- because that's what made them successful in the first place. Marcus Buckingham is right with StandOut and it is my job to enact what we know -- use the intelligence derived from the HR research and apply it in situ, live. So we can live well, work well, love each other. And it's very hard. Very very hard and we have to do it sustainably. Call out behavior that's a no go, manage the strengths, push for values, coach for success across business goals, keep people human, radical self care. I'm excited really, for the next gig. And so it goes. I know what I must do next time to stay on the beam, focused and perform, while being good to my husband, godson and those I love and recertify by 2019. Live and love well.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Writing through this

i will be ok this is so scary -- towards the end of the work day, i found out from my brother that San Francisco is going into almost lockdown. and David and I finished up the essential work items and took a break to get groceries for 2 weeks. NYC could be next. we're now prepared but worried about how this will impact our lives. we both treasure exercise -- cycling, long walks -- what if all that is essentially curbed? we came back, i took care of work pop ups and now am back to my personal life. i'm learning about this work from home thing that can take over all the hours in a paranoid panic of overdoing. i'm learning to slow down after the work day. allow the sunset to be the curtain to a focus on work and doing, and to shift to relax, let go, release the day. this will pass. we will be ok. we do the best we can and let go. the rest is up to something larger than all of us.
Post a Comment
Read more

It's been forever

And nothing significant has changed. Except, now I go back to Colgate to speak. And I'm terrified all over again, but now I'm swamped by this fear that I'm totally inadequate, balanced by my mother's encouragement to go with my head held high. She's written a book, and part of me feels drawn to call Jen and get it published. How come I never wrote my book? Maybe I can help her "finish" hers. But I'm talking about core values. And I'm thinking, but what kind of role model am I? OK, I've got thoughts about values and how to apply them, but I'm a coordinator...at 38 years old. Most of my classmates from Colgate are CEO's, WTF do I know about leadership? If they all got up in the middle of it, (if they showed up at all), and pointed at me and started laughing Carrie-style, I wouldn't blame them and I wouldn't telekinesis or Avada Kedavra because, they'd be right. I have nothing to offer but theory and speculation about ...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Profitable Man

How do you define a successful life? I think, post-holidays, this idea of what this year should be comes to mind. What if it's in the quality of sleep each night, and the love you enjoy from those closest to you? What if any profit is really from having enough time, money, and other stuff to enjoy the love around you? Then, how do the actions you take this year, this month, this week align with that vision you have for yourself as a viable human being and then your career? Reminder: we spend the most time at work. How does work time move the dial forward for the total being of you. If it goes against, it detracts from what you want to be in the world. Is that a worthy sacrifice? Challenge. Write about it this year. Talk with trusted friends. If you need to adjust the work you do: mold the current work, find a new position within the current organization, or seek new frontiers, do it, for life is short and the years they roll along quickly. Happy New Year. Live and Work ...
Post a Comment
Read more