If you've ever been bullied, this one's for you.
The office is often like the school playground and those of us who've been bullied sometimes recreate situations at work that are opportunities for us to finally stand up for ourselves. Accepting more work responsibility and then getting reamed out for failing to ace it all, is a classic way to set myself up for victimization.
What's comforting about that? I get to say that there's too much to do, I'm so busy I have no time for friends, for self-care. I burnout and I either quit or do inappropriate passive-aggressive behavior and nobody wins.
That's how I flamed out November 2009. Never again.
So, what to do? Well, grown-ups--the whole point of my blog, negotiate. There are plum responsibilities: things we love to do and certainly, when those opportunities arise we should see if we can get to work on some of those. Then there are things the organization needs, or the role we're in demands. Those are important too. In negotiation with the supervisor, find a way to create a "plate" of responsibilities that allows you to give a full contribution (at your level and salary) that feels like fair output, and has as much of your favorite things to contribute as possible.
Just remember, it's got to have the key components of the things the organization needs. That's basically what they pay us for. Get this job done.
And in negotiation, see what can get delegated to another member of the team that allows them to stretch and grow, maybe learn something they want to learn, or is a favorite thing for the other employee to do. See if there's a potential of getting an intern. And if what you're doing is so far from what you love that it's painful, see if there's an opportunity for a job rotation with another employee whose core job responsibility is more your speed.
Suffering in silence, in gossip with your colleagues, or in passive-aggressive behavior serves nobody, least of all: you. Maybe you're your own worst bully.
The office is often like the school playground and those of us who've been bullied sometimes recreate situations at work that are opportunities for us to finally stand up for ourselves. Accepting more work responsibility and then getting reamed out for failing to ace it all, is a classic way to set myself up for victimization.
What's comforting about that? I get to say that there's too much to do, I'm so busy I have no time for friends, for self-care. I burnout and I either quit or do inappropriate passive-aggressive behavior and nobody wins.
That's how I flamed out November 2009. Never again.
So, what to do? Well, grown-ups--the whole point of my blog, negotiate. There are plum responsibilities: things we love to do and certainly, when those opportunities arise we should see if we can get to work on some of those. Then there are things the organization needs, or the role we're in demands. Those are important too. In negotiation with the supervisor, find a way to create a "plate" of responsibilities that allows you to give a full contribution (at your level and salary) that feels like fair output, and has as much of your favorite things to contribute as possible.
Just remember, it's got to have the key components of the things the organization needs. That's basically what they pay us for. Get this job done.
And in negotiation, see what can get delegated to another member of the team that allows them to stretch and grow, maybe learn something they want to learn, or is a favorite thing for the other employee to do. See if there's a potential of getting an intern. And if what you're doing is so far from what you love that it's painful, see if there's an opportunity for a job rotation with another employee whose core job responsibility is more your speed.
Suffering in silence, in gossip with your colleagues, or in passive-aggressive behavior serves nobody, least of all: you. Maybe you're your own worst bully.
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